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I’m as surprised as anyone that I didn’t take advantage of the fact that this was episode 314 to make a reference to pi.
But then, it’s sort of a miracle that there’s an episode at all. Too busy to even explain how busy I am. Or, indeed, to finish writing this post.
I’m pretty sure I have invented the concept of the “pen garter,” but feel free to disagree with me in the comments.
So what with the world being the world, and projects being added to my schedule that require immediate action, I’ve been a bit slow in getting planned merchandise into the Jigsaw store. But those winter holidays are coming up, and I figured I really ought to get cracking.
First off, stickers.
Durable, nigh-weatherproof vinyl stickers. White and black ink on clear, so the edges of the sticker vanish around the card itself. Contagious Graphics did these, and they were also responsible for all the stickers back at 305 South years ago; I can tell you, after years on the back of my (black) Scion, the ink of many other stickers has faded, and a few stickers have started peeling and looking ratty. The Contagious Graphics stickers are pristine.
Unsure as of yet as to the distribution channels for these stickers. For now, probably just if you see me, I’ll give you one, or if you order something, you’ll get one included. It doesn’t really fall under the Etsy terms of use, so until I get a stand-alone storefront, they’ll probably just be special gifts.
Here’s a close-up of the sticker image:
Of course, stickers are exciting and everything, but I’ve been burying the lead a bit, because I just finished the prototype for the Milton Inertia Figure.
Not really an action figure, though the arms and legs are bendy. Pretty much it is a nice object that will tend to stay at rest, unless sufficient force is exerted upon it to cause it to go against that tendency. Much like Milton himself.
These will all be hand-made my me, so quantities will depend on time and materials. I hope to get a handful of these done in the next couple weeks, enough time for people to give them as gifts during December holiday things. If I’m feeling incredibly productive (read: unemployed), I may also do another run of the Jigsaw Tree Ornament Things from a few years back. No promises on that, but it wouldn’t shock me.
IF YOU WISH TO PREORDER either of these things, you should drop me a line. Pricing is still TBD (I haven’t done all the math I need to do to set a price), but it’ll likely fall between $15-$20.
Dat’s it. Episode tomorrow should prove to be a super-quick one, as I’ve got Film Festival stuff all weekend. Paying job, unfortunately, does occasionally take precedence.
Funny. I don’t remember sending out a bunch of emails to people I’ve never heard of with subject lines reading “Message X” where X is a random integer from 1-99. And yet I seem to be getting a lot of replies that imply that I did. One Jeffrey Watson claims in RE: MESSAGE 33 that he is a hot blonde girl, searching for a man to chat with by email, Skype, “or even meet in reality!” Marva Valentin, in RE: MESSAGE 38 ups the ante, saying she is a pretty woman who is looking for a nice guy “to date in reality!” Sorry, Jeffrina, Marva is already saying she’ll date me in reality, so meeting isn’t that big a deal. I think I’ve found my — wait! Freida Alfaro, in RE: MESSAGE 24, is both pretty AND blonde, and is eager to meet an interesting man for “dates in reality!” Sorry, you two, with Freida I get plural dates! She’s eager! And I don’t even have to be nice! I think Freida wins. Unless Lane Leblanc (RE: MESSAGE 78) or one of the seven others has a better offer… Zap.
Hm, what’s this? One Susane Kamara must have gotten the wrong address. This message is completely in French. How exciting! International intrigue! I wonder what it says… Oh look! There’s an English version at the bottom. “HELLO DEAR FRIENDLY”? She must not speak English terribly well. Says here she’s a lawyer, and she used to represent a family who died in a plane crash seven years ago, and now she has nowhere to put their seven million American dollars. Understandable, as that’s worth about twelve Euro. Hmm. “It is thus after several days of research that I decide on me entrusts has you.” Has what now? This lady talks funny. Zap.
Alison Barnard? What a safe and familiar-sounding name. Subject line: mit blackjack team. Dude, I TOTALLY want to see video of MIT students playing blackjack. They probably have robots, and cards made out of lasers. Show me the link… oh, you want ME to play blackjack? Boring old non-robot non-laser blackjack? I don’t really feel like it. Though I do like your email name: MaryannWheelbaseAlbright. Zap.
Huh. “P&G Privacy”? I care very deeply about my privacy. I’d better take a look at this one. Oh, it’s from Proctor & Gamble. Because I requested a coupon at some point, I’m on their list. Funny, I don’t remember asking for a coupon, but hey, maybe I did. So… okay, so they’ve updated their Privacy Statement, and they’re providing a link to it. Well that’s above and beyond. Most big corporations change their Privacy Statements all the time, and nobody ever notifies me of it. I wonder why my mail program thought this was spam. Could it be because instead of the proctorandgamble dot com url the link is supposed to go to, the actual url is a 30 character alphanumeric string? Not that it matters. It’s a Privacy Statement. Nobody reads those things anyway. Zap.
What is this crazy jibba-jabba?
From: "imfibupc" pltzbq()segmkt,com
Subject: REMjztunZHLcFAnHX
L18JD7 a href="http://petdytetoglp,com/">petdytetoglp, [url=http://migpznghsaez,com/]migpznghsaez[/url], [link=http://oaisaqxkjudi,com/]oaisaqxkjudi[/link], http://hkhhexygfnkj,com/
HOLY CRAP I’M GETTING EMAIL FROM ALIENS. ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP.
Man, I don’t know what to do now. This alien message is probably a warning of a future invasion by a hostile race. What am I supposed to do with that? I’m a pacifist. And by that I mean that I’m crap at fighting. Sure, I have friends who are good with guns, but a few slackers with Airsoft pistols aren’t going to take down an alien mothership. If only I’d gotten in touch with all those Army Sergeants who emailed me last week to ask me to help them smuggle cash out of Iraq. If I’d played nice, I’d be able to call in the favor with the 3rd Infantry. But no, I don’t have the email anymore… Oh hey! Sgt.J Cruz sent me a message! He… he has a new email address! And he still needs help moving that $48 million! The Earth is saved, and I’m a millionaire! Not bad for a Tuesday morning.
Feel free to leave a comment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have very important things to be getting done “in reality“.
I don’t have a lot to say about this episode, apart from the fact that it gives me a serious case of the giggles.
Yes, I admit it. A big motivation for me to make these things in the first place is so that I can enjoy them. I create stuff that makes me laugh. And this one? This one cracks me up.
I don’t even know why. Hell, most of the way through, I felt like I was treading water. There was no script. There was no real plan. Your behind the scenes talk for the day: this episode shows you what I actually did today, with a few omissions (having Frank & Regibor fill out paperwork and play with their new phone didn’t really make sense in the dramatic context, nor would it have fit in the episode to have them take a break and watch Pushing Daisies with Girl). I did, in fact, mow the lawn, go to the recycling center, buy stuff at Staples, make bread, load the dishwasher. I didn’t use the dustpan much, but I used it (largely to clean up the flour that Frank blew in Regibor’s face, a bit that didn’t make sense on camera due to the fact that none of the flour actually stuck to Regibor’s face, so it got cut).
I had no idea what I was doing today. Most of the footage was done by lunchtime, and then I sat around for seven hours trying to figure out a punchline. Which, you’ll note, I sort of never did, but managed to defer until later. To be fair, this storyline has been in the works, but I didn’t expect exactly this outcome (at least, not in this way, though the end prop has been ready for a few days). It’s a good thing I have a very well-organized junk shelf directly behind my desk chair, else the impromptu ten minute build of the transmogrifier would have been impossible. I fully expect the finished machine to look, well, more finished. But hey, sometimes expedience can be just as valid a design spec as anything else.
Anyway. I hope you enjoy this thing. I slogged through the process and then, while watching it for the first time (to check the edit timing before render), laughed until there were tears in my eyes. So frankly, I don’t really care if you enjoy it. Because I certainly did. Do. So there. Nyah.
Comments are, however, still welcome.
By FAR the best email address since this project began has to be drblessedifydickofficeatmpresid… (at) yahoo.co.jp. I find the particularly long username makes the brain marvel at the myriad possibilities of grammar and parsing. Also of note, an email from one Benjamin Franklin. Who was, according to the subject line, chilling out on his yacht. Which is, when you think about it, not entirely out of character for the bad boy of the founding fathers. It was certainly, for Franklin, all about the Benjamins.
As is always the way, the bulk of the spam this week (hovering around 60%) was prescription-related. Quite a few emails from one “Most Read Story”, which I have to say is one of the more optimistic fake names I’ve seen. Also a few usernames came into the spambox that were so close to people I actually know that it gave me pause. Of course, Adam and Doug don’t care that much about my rigidity, so I figure it probably wasn’t them.
Got a rather large handful of inquiries about ebay listings I’d never heard of. Amusing, partly because about the only time I didn’t get a bunch of these types of spam was when I actually had an item listed on ebay. A few days after shipping out the item, I started getting these messages again. Very weird.
Actually, I have to say, there is a part of me that always wants to check accounts referenced in spam. When I see that ebay, or Amazon, or someplace has a “problem with my account,” I find it very hard not to go check. I mean, I always use a new browser, and type the actual address in myself, I’m not a complete idiot. I see it sort of like looking under the bed for monsters. It’s a dumb thing to do… but wouldn’t you feel even more dumb if you didn’t look and there was a monster under there?
(Granted, it was only last Saturday that I, after a surprisingly spooky movie late at night, had to fight the urge to sleep with the light on, so maybe my paranoia is just particularly bad as of late.)
Anyway. The rest was mostly watches and Sergeants looking to unload war gold, sprinkled with a modicum of porn and fake watches. A few fake IRS refunds (one of which might have actually duped me into maybe thinking about looking into the possibility of its veracity had the URL not contained several lines of unnecessary hex code). A few fake lottery wins, offers of debt consolidation, and a couple fake job offers, which really burns my biscuits in these difficult times. Fake jobs, that’s just mean, and sadly will probably work better than most financial offers. I know my own defenses are down when it comes to possible employment. Anybody not used to being on their guard might just find themselves first-time victims.
As for me, Benny Franklin just emailed again. He’s gonna swing the yacht by on his way to Cabo. Dude just doesn’t know when to quit. Probably all the pharmaceuticals.
