As I mentioned on Twitter, if you can correctly name the movie Milton and Kranium are watching, you win some sort of prize. As I have just decided this, I have no idea what the prize will be. It will surely be valued under $10. It may not be edible.

So I had this idea, and then filmed, and then while I was waiting for the render to finish, I actually did some research about the subject matter. This is actually kind of a weird story, the story of the Ice Capades. Started in the 40s, it was hugely successful for decades, and largely featured a bunch of pro-skating with some odd themes thrown in. It was in the 80s that it started a decline, when they started sticking a bunch of Snorks on the ice, and when pro-skaters started their own tour that focused more on, you know, actual skating.

Ice Capades shut down in the mid-90s, and there have been multiple failed attempts to revive the franchise. However, Disney On Ice does still exist, and was never part of the Ice Capades company (one could argue that Disney On Ice are what truly killed any chance of Ice Capades making a comeback).

It wasn’t until hearing Milton say “Ice Capades” that I realized the name was a pun. Never even dawned on me that there’s no such thing as a capade until today.

Ballet on Ice is not even remotely a fake thing. Figure skaters often take ballet lessons, because of how closely related the two art forms are. Judging from Google search, Sleeping Beauty seems to be the most popular selection; overall there appears to be a thriving Ice Ballet scene. Just not as much of it in the US as in other nations.

To the best of my knowledge, however, the story of seven ice dancers nearly drowning from falling through the ice during a performance of Swan Lake is complete fiction.

All in all, I’m sort of sad I didn’t have an opportunity to research and write this one a bit more thoroughly. I’ll go ahead and admit now that a) I was a bit ignorant of the subject matter, and b) that I would be surprised if I didn’t rip off this material for some other project some day.

On an unrelated note, how odd it is that the 12 Days of Xmas span the New Year, and yet have no acknowledgement of it? It’s almost as though our obsession with celebrations based upon purely temporal events is a modern development devoid of any real cultural significance beyond a collective agreement of revelry.

Happy New Year anyway.

if xmas were two days earlier, new year’s eve would be 9 ladies dancing, which would be way more apropos

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“Sixth” is a hard word to say.

And no. I couldn’t come up with a single idea for today. Or rather, I couldn’t come up with a single other idea. “Six geese a-laying” took on a filthy and ridiculous concept in my mind, and there was no shaking it. The central question of whether it’s three pairs of geese going at it, or some massive goose orgy, has not been resolved. Nor should it. I think it’s up to each person in this world to decide for themselves whether six geese a-laying are really two geese a-laying next to two other pairs of geese also a-laying, or if it’s six geese a-gettin’-their-freak-on.

If you’ve never thought of that before, you’ll certainly never be able not to think of it again. You’re welcome. A belated Xmas gift to you.

Tomorrow: Swans. Maybe I should just go see the new Aronofsky seven times.

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I knew when I came up with the concept that this was going to be a little later posting than I’d hoped.

Yeah, this is one of those “It takes eight hours to shoot four minutes” videos. I’m not entirely happy with the sound, to be honest, but I hit a point where I just couldn’t work on it any longer.

Also possibly the most expensive episode of Jigsaw ever, as I had to buy $50 in D&D stuff. Had to, he said as if he didn’t relish the excuse to finally pick up the Red Box.

Just so you know, all four of them had actual characters generated with a combination of 4E player manuals. Most of the dice rolls are authentic as of writing the episode (earlier this afternoon). I decided not to knock Regibor prone because I didn’t want two prone minis on the game map; I just wanted Kranium’s fallen cleric on the ground, so I fudged the Hulking Zombie’s power. Like any good DM who wants to have a more poetic outcome.

And yes, I am contemplating doing an entire series of “Jigsaw plays D&D”, except I’d probably use Gamma World instead, because I just don’t have that many miniatures, and I’d much rather purchase weird mutants and robots than wizards and trolls. I mean, it’s a pretty slim margin there, but this shit’s expensive, yo.

Yes, this may be the most geeky I’ve ever been. Here, at least.

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I must admit, this is one of those episodes where I don’t really know if it’s funny or not. Or if it makes sense at all.

I am pretty happy with Kranium’s bluetooth headset, though, which is a cap off a printer ink cartridge painted black and velcroed to his head. I’ll be keeping that prop; it seems every year or two I want to do a bit with Kranium talking on the phone. Maybe there’s a bit of Bob Newhart influence I never knew I had.

I decided not to make a joke about Charlie Parker only wanting to get his saxophone in order to sell it for heroin. I’d like to think I avoided this joke because it was in poor taste, but mostly I think I just couldn’t figure out how to get Kranium to say it. He’s a better man than I sometimes.

Five Gold Rings tomorrow. Originally referred to pheasants. No idea what it’ll refer to here. I’m almost tempted to work in Sonic the Hedgehog somehow. But that would require new props, or new puppets, or talking about a video game I actually hate. So maybe not.

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25% of the way through the impromptu Jigsaw 12 Days of Xmas project, and it dawns on me that with each passing day it will become more and more difficult to do these things with only two hands. This realization happened as I was attaching chickens to my fingers with rubber bands so I could have them dance on Lump’s bed. Heck, I’m not even sure I’ll have enough rubber bands, if it comes to that. I’ll have to scrounge around.

The song is an original, recorded this morning. I took the first measure of the melody of the 12 Days of Xmas and riffed on it while thinking about Edith Piaf. Came out way better than it had any right to. Like so many things I do while hung over.

Now I have a bit of time to sit back and contemplate. Colly birds. Calling birds. Colly. Calling. Hmm.

I may have to go for the obvious jokes here. Hope you’ll forgive me.

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