Basically, impossible.

But it’s actually worked out quite well. Here’s a few shots from GYPSY, which happened some time in the past, I don’t actually have any memory of exactly when anymore. It was in the last eight months, to be sure. It would take consulting some sort of temporal grid system in order to discover the exact point in the past when it was. If only such a system existed…

Anyway. Photos, with commentary All photos by the fantastic Will Kerner. Click em a few times and they should get bigger.

That’s Chowsie the dog. Like most of the puppets in the show, Chowsie is made entirely out of paper and tape, painted roughly. Chowsie got a lot of lipstick on her head during the run of the show, which I thought added something.

Chowsie had to be passed around from actor to actor during the course of each scene, usually starting with Mama Rose and ending with one of the kids. In this first scene, she was handled by four or five people in as many minutes. The handbag Chowsie lives in was essential to making this possible. In the background, you can see some fake kids.

Kids and animals. That’s why I was brought on for this show; GYPSY’s first act is filled with kids and animals. Live Arts didn’t want to fill the theater with actual kids and animals. So I made them. For most of the kids, we used simple bib-style puppets with velcro quick-releases, since the adults playing the parts needed to be adults ten seconds later. These went through several design concepts before finally being thrown together at literally the last moment with scrap cloth and hot glue. The paint marker detailing was still drying on opening night. Ah, the theater.

Animals. Look closely, you can see a dog, a lamb, and a monkey. We cut two cats, several dogs, and a bird from the scene.

A close-up of the lamb. The lamb has to run around the stage a lot. Knowing how hard it is to train someone to do marionettes, I opted to attach springy wires to the shoes of the actress, wired to the legs. As she shuffled, the lamb wobbled around, leaving the operator’s hands free to move the head.

…and then get the lamb into position for a song. The wire rods slid out of the shoes and became handles to move the lamb into position. Man, I wish I’d gotten video of that lamb.

A cow. The script calls for a full cow suit, as well as recurring use of the cow head throughout the show. I knew the costume change would never happen, and the actress’ face while performing the cow was too priceless to cover up, so we went more… abstract. The cow’s mouth was articulated, so it could smile and moo. In the background, a tiny masking tape ventriloquist dummy that was requested at the eleventh hour. Perhaps one of my favorite props from the show. That and the udder. Which I believe has been turned into a chandelier.

It was a hard show. But ultimately a fun show to have worked on.

Sara makes with the awesome. Also, how’s that for a price, folks? One drink and then whatever you feel is fair AFTER you’ve seen the show? I mean, it’s just ridiculous! You were gonna drink ANYWAY. Our biggest problem will be if people drink their entire wallet and can’t pay us anything for the show. So folks, for the poor, sleepy actors, save back a couple bucks. If you hate the show, you can always get one last beer at the end.

Click here to view the embedded video.

…we thought it only appropriate to take measures to ensure the audience is too drunk to notice any textual missteps or random theatrical inconsistencies. To that end, we have taken a moment from our panicked line memorization to create a Richard the Third Drinking Game. This document will evolve over time as inspiration (or desperation) hits, culminating in horribly rushed, typo-ridden copies being distributed at the venue.

RICHARD THE THIRD THE DRINKING THE GAME [sic] (R3DG)

GENERAL RULES

…Any mention of husbands, wives, or marriage, married people must drink.
…Any mention of God, Heaven, or such matters, all atheists must drink.
…Whene’er a Messenger enters, anyone looking at their phone or laptop must drink.
…At any mention of Saint Paul, anyone and everyone named Paul must drink.
…Any mention of the Tower or imprisonment, anybody who has ever been arrested must drink.
…Whene’er anyone makes a misogynistic comment, all men must drink.
…Whene’er anyone double-crosses another, drinks must be switched with the person next to you.
…Every time someone is killed, everyone must drink.

CHARACTER RULES
Players shall each be assigned a character to follow; each character shall have a specific set of rules to be observed.

RIVERS
Those players assigned to follow Rivers shall drink whene’er he…
…manages to get through a line without asking a question.
…is sickeningly deferential.
When Rivers is killed, the remainder of the drink shall be consumed. These players now follow DERBY.

*DERBY
Only those players who had been following Rivers unto his death, or likewise latecomers who thus were not assigned a character, shall follow Lord Derby. They shall thenceforth drink whene’er he…
…uses an excessive number of personal pronouns; e.g. “Pray God, I say, I prove a needless coward!”
…delivers expository information.
…pledges his support to someone.
When Derby crowns Richmond King, all followers of Derby must rise and shout “HAIL RICHMOND!” If any follower of Richmond at their table is without a drink, a follower of Derby must offer theirs as substitute.

CLARENCE
Those players assigned to follow Clarence shall drink whene’er he…
…talks about his brother. Or his other brother.
…happens to mention his royalty, or others’ lack of it.
When Clarence is killed, his followers must cry out in alarm, then finish their drink. These players now follow THE PRINCES.

*THE PRINCES, EDWARD AND YORK
Only those players who followed Clarence until his brutal end shall follow these, the sons of King Edward. They shall, hereafter, drink whene’er one or both of them…
…offer discourse upon their stature.
…complain.
…mention any of their uncles.
Followers of the Princes are advised to take small drinks, as befit the children they present. Once receiving news of the Princes’ death, they must finish their drink without anyone else at the table witnessing, and thereafter follow RICHMOND.

ELIZABETH
Those players assigned to follow Elizabeth shall drink whene’er she…
…wails, weeps, laments, or mentions wailing, weeping, or lamenting.
…speaks of her children.
…flees to sanctuary.
…prophesies doom.
When, at the end of Act IV, Elizabeth flees once more to sanctuary, abandoning her players, all those following her must now finish their drinks and swear allegiance to RICHMOND.

BUCKINGHAM
Those players assigned to follow Buckingham shall drink whene’er he…
…says something negative.
…says he will follow/wait upon someone before exiting.
…dotes upon Richard.
…doubts upon Richard.
When Buckingham is killed, all drinks must be consumed. These players now must align with RICHMOND.

*RICHMOND
Such players whose characters have abandoned them through untimely death or unseemly cowardice shall align, at last, with Richmond. Newly reborn as Tudors, these players shall drink whene’er Richmond…
…mentions his tent.
…makes a stirring speech to rally his troops/retainers/office supplies.
…insults Richard.
When Richmond is crowned King, all players must rise, shout “HAIL RICHMOND”, and finish their drink.

Feel free to leave more rule suggestions in the comments.

And by all means, come to The Southern on January 14th (at 8 or 11pm) and take part in the game yourself. Oh, and also see some Shakespeare performed by ridiculously brave, talented, sleepy people. Go, go, dispatch.